Hey,
So here I am, after a hiatus of of around 7 months – since I actually wrote here. If you’re asking why, you probably don’t need to know. ‘Cause if you actually know me, you wouldn’t be asking that in the first place. Anyway, so what am I going to write about today? Let me write a letter, to my highly-unlikely-ever special one. Once again, if you actually know the person that I am, you’d know why.
I strongly believe (up till this point, 5:39am on July 6th, 2011) that I am probably not wired right to be in a “relationship” [by traditional definition]. I could go on explaining why, but I guess it’ll just confuse you further. Or just bore you. So “wired right” sounds like a term vague enough to use, that [at least I believe] will serve my purpose. So, I thought I’d just write to that non-existent person – purposelessly. Then again, I don’t think The SouthPaw Show was created with a purpose in mind. It was, as a matter of fact, created to serve purposelessness. Okay, enough with the preface.
So yeah,
Hi sweetheart!
Apparently – you’re a very important part of my life right now, arguably the most. I don’t know how you’ve made it happen, but hats off to you. You know why? Because you’ve changed one thing that was constant in my life. The invincible inability to feel like one person who is is above and beyond everything else that’s ever been in my life. The feeling that I am ready to, you know, glue you to myself for as long as I am. The feeling that I will do things that will sweep you off your feet, and I will do it like it’s the easiest thing I’ve ever done, like the last thing I’m doing before I die is making you feel special.
You know something, honey? There have been a lot of people in my life who have been (and still are) very special in my life (in romantic – and non-romantic ways) – and they have (almost exclusively the non-romantic ones) – held me together through the toughest of times, given me warmth when I needed it [sometimes being unaware that I did], who’ve cared for me like I was the most precious thing, and have made me feel so special, I get chills even thinking about, but I never did anything remotely reciprocal. I never gave them a pleasant surprise, I never did make them feel nearly as special as they were in my heart. Maybe I am not wired that way. Maybe I was not. If you’ve changed that thing about me, you deserve a special pat on the back. If you’re reading this, I’d suggest you do a little fist-pump. Be proud that you are amazing on that scale that you did what some of the most unbelievably amazing persons I know could not.
At the point when I’m writing this, I don’t know how you came into my life, but believe me, however it is – it is probably the most un-probable turning point of my life. And till this point, I can’t even imagine how awesome you are! I cannot comprehend how you did it, what magic you weaved. Maybe you were just being yourself. I don’t know. Maybe I felt just right to you. I wonder what you must have been thinking. Me, of all people?
*I’m getting kind of sleepy, sweetheart. Sorry 
it’s 6:18am after a sleepless night preceded by a reasonably long day. So I’m goin’ to keep it short, without missing out on any points that I want to mention. Well, I am going to eventually, but that’s just me, right sweetheart?*
So, first of all – I’m sorry for all the douchebaggery that you’ve survived to make it up to now [the point when you're reading, I mean. The time-frame on this piece is kind of messed up. My bad.] And I believe [to my own utter dismay] that I still have some part of the horrible sides to me that I’d acquired over the years, and I’m going to screw things up a few times in the near and far-away future, and I’m sorry for that in advance. You are “the One” for me, so I’m sure you’ll work through them, I have that faith in you.
Secondly, I’m going to stick to you as long as otherwise intended by the almighty, and I’m going to stick to you with all I’ve got, baby. I will love you, protect you and be your biggest support, come hell or high tide. I’m going to do everything in my power to make you the happiest that I can, because that is what you do to me. You make me the happiest person that I ever have been. I’m going to hold you tight and close – and stand in pouring rain and cracking thunder (if I have n’t done already, or have). I am going to lie down beside you on a beach, and listen to the waves – cresting and breaking – cresting and breaking – cresting and breaking in a rhythm. I’m going to hug you – and forget the world. I will put your head on my lap – and sing you lullabies till you fall asleep, and then I’m going to sit still like that all night, so that your sleep is not broken. Yes sweetie, I’m going to do all of that, and much more. Because you deserve it.
And lastly, thank you, for coming to my life, for stretching your arms out for me. You are mine, which is the most amazing thing in the world. I hope I am the same to you.
Love You to death.
Fahmim
[I'm pretty sure I had a lot more to write, maybe I'll add to to it later. One again - a shorter-than-intended blog entry]
